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Navigating the Relationship Recession: Coping with the Unfulfilled Desire for Romantic Love
- Samantha Dunlap
- 7 days ago
- 5 min read
“Just focus on yourself!”
“It’ll come when you least expect it!”
“You just need to put yourself out there more!”
“Have you tried dating apps?”
If you’re currently single and struggling within the modern dating scene, I’m sure you’ve heard a few of these phrases more than once. If you have, you are not alone. In a Tinder commissioned survey from 2024, The Green Flags Study, findings showed that 91% of men and 94% of women believe that dating is more difficult than ever (The Green Flags Study, 2024). What is to blame for this increased challenge? Unfortunately, there's not one simple answer. Upon digging deeper into this issue, I have found that there are many attributing factors, but to name a few: financial instability, dating app fatigue, and evolving relationship standards.
Dating can be quite expensive if you are going on multiple dates and paying for dating platforms. While cheaper dating options exist, a survey done by CNBC reported that many younger generations find it hard to rationalize spending money on dating while gas, grocery, and rent prices continue to increase (Morabito, 2026). Expenses have also played a role in finding potential dating matches. Dating apps such as Hinge, Tinder, and other platforms are the main ways people are currently looking to meet connections. Paid membership tiers for these apps might also be a financial deterrent to dating. If you are not willing to pay for dating apps, you may be missing out on certain features that expose you to more matches and opportunities (Morabito, 2026).
If financial aspects aren't enough of a deterrent, the dating app burnout surely is. A study by Forbes reports that 70-80% of people, across multiple generations, feel burnt out by dating apps. Many people report feeling exhausted from repeatedly swiping, chatting, and meeting with new people, disappointment with connections, and feelings of rejection (Prendergast, 2025).
Dating standards have also changed dramatically for better and for worse. With the rise of “situationships” (another word for low-pressure relationships with no formal label or commitment expectations), many are choosing to opt out of dating to avoid these confusing dynamics. Younger generations have also begun to shift their standards for a partner, which isn’t necessarily a negative thing, but it can make finding the right partner more difficult. When it comes to dating, many are choosing to opt for remaining single over settling for a partner that doesn’t meet their needs or standards for areas like communication, boundaries, or basic compatibility.
So where does all of that leave us? If you’ve viewed the trending topics of conversation on social media, many have resorted to cynicism of love or turned the internet into a battle of the sexes over who is to blame for the “Relationship Recession.” From the podcast that sparked my inspiration to write on this topic, The Psychology of Your 20s, the host and co-author theorize that many are using Reaction Formation as a coping mechanism for the current dating crisis. “The theory goes, when we want something we know we can’t have, we act in ways that lessen its appeal, often by pretending to hate that thing, or convincing ourselves it won’t be as good as it’s made out to be” (With Love & Sbeg, 2026). If relationships or dating just truly aren’t for you, this need not apply. For those who may relate to this concept, you're not alone. Rejection and heartbreak can be confusing and painful.
This raises the question: is repressing the desire for love ultimately helping or hurting? If it’s hurting, it may be time to look at things from a different perspective. Please understand there is no shame in having the desire for romantic love. Humans are biologically driven to form deep attachments and maintain a sense of belonging (With Love & Sbeg, 2026). I cringe a little each time I hear the phrase “just focus on yourself” because it often overlooks, and somewhat invalidates, the underlying innate craving for human connection. With that said, I’d like to offer some alternative suggestions for coping with this unmet desire.
The first is to allow yourself to acknowledge and validate this desire. It is impossible to cope with a feeling, if you refuse to admit that it exists. When you accept this feeling, and give it space to exist, the space that has been taken up by repression and negativity can be used for other emotions. Other positive shifts in mindset can include a reduction in comparing yourself to others and taking your life off pause. Your life doesn’t begin with a partner, your life begins with you. This may involve stepping out of your comfort zone a little, but the payoff is worth it. Go to that new trendy restaurant alone or with a friend, take the solo trip to Europe you have always wanted to go on, take the wine and painting class and splurge a little on an Uber home. Date yourself!
Don’t “just focus on yourself.” Build a life centered around yourself. Romantic love may be something you want in your life, but it may be one of many wants. Many tend to orbit themselves around the idea of a relationship, when it should be the other way around. A romantic attachment is one of the many domains that orbits around you. Direct your energy towards your hobbies, career, health, and other goals. Your passions and desires can all co-exist like a solar system in balance. You are the sun. If you do choose to continue dating, work to keep yourself grounded in that balance.
Lastly, work to create, nurture, and deepen your bonds within your community and with yourself. You have so much love to give, invest it into friendships and family. There will still be more than enough love left to give to a partner when the time comes. It is important not to let yourself compare these relationships to a romantic one. Acknowledge the differences and appreciate the unique love and support that comes from platonic and familial relationships. Just as importantly, don’t forget to turn some of your own love inwards. Even though you cannot currently be with someone you love, be the someone you love.
Resources:
The Green Flags Study. Tinder Newsroom. (2024, May 15).
Morabito, C. (2026, April 25). Some young Americans scale back dating as costs and apps add
pressure, survey shows. CNBC.
Prendergast, C. (2025, July 25). Survey: 78% of gen Z report dating app burnout – Forbes
Health. Forbes. https://www.forbes.com/health/dating/dating-app-fatigue/
With Love, & Sbeg, J. (2026, July 23). You’re not meant to despise love. The Psychology of Your
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